Conscious Living

Of course I've heard of it before and believed I was living it. Now I wonder if I really am. Am I just existing, day by day, or am I truly grateful for each opportunity I'm given by God to be my highest self? It's like needing a bell on my toe to ring with every movement so as to not miss an opportunity to be my best.

Guess that's as a friend and former coach of mine called "unconsciously conscious." I'm not there yet. I'm in the middle of "consciously unconscious" and consciously conscious." I'll keep at it!

Opinions Not Based on Fact

I'm frustrated to see so many people take on the opinions of others with no verification or validation of facts! Just because someone "says" this or that, they believe it, even if it makes no logical sense. Quick to judge and find shortcomings yet offer no solutions for the problem attempting to be solved.

How do you have a conversation with some who does this? I've found I just move on and away, seeing that any attempts to discuss information based on research and readings will still be disregarded.

Meanwhile, I'll continue to be open to new information, new research, new facts on which to base my opinions.

Engaged in Relationship

Despite being in a most satisfying relationship, one in which I'd only imagined possible, I've realized how easy it is to become passive, to forget how grateful, fulfilled, and joyous it is to have found that special person with whom I want to spend the rest of this life!

How could that happen? How could I, so seemingly easily, forget the days of past relationships where there was always something not quite right, something not fulfilling, something not whole, or those days of wondering if I'd ever meet that special person to share my life?

I guess it's easy to get caught up in day to day life, to forget to cherish each moment, to forget how truly special and rare the feeling of such happiness. Good breakdown! Awesome break through!

I'm so glad I've re-membered. I'm so fortunate. I'm proclaiming here that I will do my best to be an active partner in this relationship!

Who am I now?

Who we were yesterday doesn't have to be who we are today. We have the opportunity to learn from our experiences. If we can stop and assess our responses to these questions:

1. who we were being and why
2. did it work for us then
3. does it work for us now

We can make new choices in the now - since that's what each moment is all about - making choices as to how we want to be in this world.

I've recently come to grips with how I was being in the past - most all of my life, in fact. It worked for me then, helped keep me isolated, non-trusting of others, high walls which few people could get over, and even then, only for a short time before the walls would again become impenetrable. It's not that we have to give our trust out unconditionally; it's really more assessing how much trust we can give each person we meet.

And when we meet that person with whom we feel safe letting down the walls....my, what a magical moment in time.

Learning or Damaged?

I have a standing disagreement with my brother-in-law. He says we're all damaged goods. I disagree with caveats. I think our cycle of life starts out with us not really knowing ourselves well enough yet - that's what youth is all about, right - to know who we want to share our lives with or even how we want to spend our lives. As we have relationships, we have the opportunity to learn more about ourselves, who we are and what we want. Now I can agree with my brother-in-law when we have those relationships and don't take the time to learn from them, to understand what worked, what didn't work and the whys. We can only do that if we accept responsibility for our actions in those relationships. So if we can't accept responsibly for ourselves and we don't discover what we learned, yes, we might be damaged good.

If instead, we consciously discover who we were being in that relationship, realizing what is important to us and for us as individuals and then consider those qualities in who we decide to have a relationship with in the future, we have indeed grown ourselves...not damaged.

I think this is a life long learning. We shouldn't stop learning. We continue taking off more layers of our onion selves. Then we know what we want and are unwilling to settle for anyone less in our lives.

Expectations

We are so good at placing expectations on others, consciously or unconsciously, and then be upset with the other person for not meeting those expectations we set! We neglect to consider that the expectations were our own and we didn't bother letting the other person know that they now had a responsibility to meet these hidden expectations! And that we have now judged them because they didn't do what they were expected to do!

We can develop these detailed scenarios of "this will happen, then he'll do this, I'll do that, this is how it will be, everything is lovely, yada yada yada" then feel so disappointed when it doesn't happen the way we "expected" it to!

Who are we to place any expectations on anyone? How much simpler life would be if we could just be honest in each moment and remain curious and hopeful concerning the next moment. How much fun would it be to be looking forward to what will happen next, with no expectations and just "be" with it! That's what I'm striving for on this path of life.

Such an opportunity for growth is given to us when we can realize we've set ourselves up for disappointment, to realize we did have expectations of another person's actions and to stop and consider why.

Just another opportunity to grow!

Right Place at the Right Time

It so amazes me to watch as life, God, The All Knowing, provides us opportunities to learn and grow. Despite knowing that these opportunities are presented to us only when we are ready (although we may not realize we're ready!), it seems like a miracle. In fact, now that I think about it, perhaps each one actually is a miracle made even more so when we comprehend that we have been presented a choice, a path shift from who we have been being.

I think these little miracles happen every day. A simple example would be the day I was driving home from the mountains. On this two lane road, the car ahead of me was going under the speed limit. I had a choice of how to act/react. I could make myself be angry at the rudeness of this complete stranger - obviously he was making my life miserable on purpose! or I could sit back in my seat and relax in the knowing that I was right where God wanted me to be. Well the car turned off soon thereafter and since I'd chosen to accept that all was well with the world, I didn't floor it to make up for lost time. I simple continued my meandering down the mountain. All of a sudden, a rock from the cliffs on the side of the road came hurling through the air right towards my windshield. I watched it go by the right side, just missing me. I then had to smile and thank God for giving me the clarity of soul to know I was right where He wanted me to be, that I had had a choice as to how to act towards what had been presented to me.

Interesting to watch ourselves to see how we react to these opportunities with which we are presented.