Windows to the Soul

I attended a "Celebrate Your Life" conference recently and although there were many powerful workshops, one in particular was extremely moving for me. In the workshop, consisting of about 50 people, we were asked to silently walk around and look into the eyes of our fellow attendees. No touching, no speaking, just moving around and looking into each others eyes. It wasn't more than 2 minutes before most everyone had tears running down their faces - me included.

The lesson? Although we are around people most of the time, seldom do we stop and really see that person. We consciously or unconsciously avoid seeing them with any depth. For me, I discovered that I usually avoid looking people in the eye, instead focusing on their mouths. It's like I'm trying to avoid being seen and avoid really "seeing" beyond the surface of others. I guess it's that natural human tendency to maintain a level of superficiality, not letting others below the surface into our real selves. Maybe it's being afraid of what others will see in us, that we won't measure up.

What would we be so fearful of? What are we hiding from? We know social etiquette dictates we always look the other person in the eye but how long do we really hold that connection and what is the depth behind our gaze? Often times, I think, we deploy the etiquette by using the other's eyes as just a focus point. There's a new level of connection possibility though when we actually look through the others eyes into their souls.

I'm learning now to look, with deep intention, into the eyes of the person I'm communicating with. Not superficially but with real purpose. I feel a new level of intimacy, a real sense of "seeing" that other person for the first time in my life. I also notice when I avoid looking into someone's eyes and have the opportunity to ask myself what I'm avoiding, what I'm afraid of.

Another powerful lesson of life and growing.